insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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