i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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