so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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