i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
