you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
