Will you blow on my dice?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
