Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I enjoy the company of your penis
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize