Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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