I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
