the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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