Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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