Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
