Already got asked if we're dating
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
