After last night, I could never be a politician.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
