I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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