I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
