Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
