Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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