areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
