tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
