i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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