Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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