i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
