sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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