he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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