So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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