Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I will be naked everywhere
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
