If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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