Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
