they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
