She said her name was "party"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
