considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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