who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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