five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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