my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
