You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
