You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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