do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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