I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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