Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water

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(720): View more from Colorado

You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.

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(510): View more from California

Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.

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(907): View more from Alaska

We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot

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(801): View more from Utah

When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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(208): View more from Idaho

Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Just got high with dad

(208): View more from Idaho

Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.

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