Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
