think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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