What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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