My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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