You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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