i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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