did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
