i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
