***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
