the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize