we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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