I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
