I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
