u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
