just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
