Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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