and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
