Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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