White coat. Heels.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
