Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
