I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were trust falling into bushes
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
