just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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