u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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