I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
